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By Fireman Chris, October 8, 2011 4:21 PM

Mija wrote yesterday about her first time being spanked as an adult, a spanking I was honored to be the one to give to her. After I commented on her post, she replied back that she’d like to hear about my first time, so I thought I should oblige her with these two brief vignettes.

The true “first time” really was more of a passing moment of fun. During high school, I was working as the stage manager for a drama production and had two girls from a couple classes below me working as my crew. During one rehearsal, one of them was sitting with me in the wings waiting for a set change. The way our theater was setup, there was no easy way to get between the wings without crossing the stage, and we were sitting on the side that was less used and were by ourselves. I was toying with a yardstick we used for an off-stage sound effect (rattling it in a metal trashcan) and she was sitting across from me by the prop table. At one point, she moved, bumping the the table and knocking over a couple props. I promptly shushed her as we were about a week from show time and supposed to practice being quiet, then got a wild idea. I looked at her, pointed the yardstick at her and told her to stand up and turn around. She knew immediately what I meant. Her eyes widened slightly, and said “Oh, why me, why me?”. She then turned around…and bent forward, pushing her denim-clad bottom out at me. I didn’t wait, but stood, and smacked the yardstick across her rump. About that time, one of the actresses on stage had her exit to our side, so we quickly resumed our positions and she grinned at me, but that was all there was.

The first proper spanking I gave was back during my newsgroup days in college. I was good friends on the group with two women about my age: Raven and T. Raven lived relatively close to me in LA, but T was up in the Bay Area at the time. Raven and I had gotten together for dinner and to hang out once, but as she was recovering from a back injury from a car accident at the time, we didn’t do any sort of play – though I was very tempted when it appeared she had messed up my Unix account while checking the newsgroup from her dorm.

About a month or so after that, the three of us decided to get together for a weekend up at T’s apartment and play. We’d planned out a game of spanking Monopoly as a way to break the ice: both Raven and T had been spanked before, but I had never spanked anyone beyond the single yardstick swat above. After dinner, they went to change and came back wearing thin jersey-type shorts. I can’t remember which one got it first, but during the course of the game, both young lady’s went over my lap several times and got the seats of their shorts warmed. There were several memorable moments, including when I was spanking Raven with a long-handled bathbrush and the head suddenly snapped off and flew across the room, almost breaking a lamp.

I’m not entirely sure why beyond my shyness and lack of experience at the time, but the shorts stayed up through the game until the very end when Raven landed on Boardwalk, which I owned and had placed a hotel on. Since the default for this was rather high, I offered her the choice to drop her shorts and take a smaller number of swats. Next thing I knew, her bare bottom was across my lap, and I was almost too nervous to properly spank her, but a few minutes later she was standing back up and rubbing her buns.

I’ve never looked at a Monopoly board quite the same way since.

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By Fireman Chris, September 17, 2011 9:27 PM

I’m sitting here next to the chair you used to sit in. I drove your truck across a good portion of the state the other day, and will drive it back again on Monday. I spent the afternoon sorting through your tools in the garage where you spent so many happy hours doing what you loved. I’m sleeping in the room you built for me when I was only a small child, in a house you put so much time and effort into maintaining and improving. Everywhere I turn it seems, I’m struck by another memory of you.

Earlier today, I started up the car that your own two hands built and listened to its smooth, deep rumble. That sound – perhaps more than any of the other things – made me think of you. Memories of car shows and races we went to, memories of your many automotive projects, memories of the drive we took in that very same car back on New Year’s Eve. Cars are so much a part of my image of you. Not the only part, of course, but so much a part of who you were. You were much more than just a “car guy” though. Father, grandfather, uncle, husband, son, friend.  My dad –  the guy I could always count on, call on, lean on.

It’s hard to believe that only seven short weeks ago you were still here. It’s even harder to believe that you won’t be here in the many weeks to come.

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By Fireman Chris, August 6, 2011 10:40 PM

As many of you know already, my Dad passed away very unexpectedly and suddenly about a week ago.

Obviously, this is not the first loss I’ve had in my life. I’ve been blessed to know all of my grandparents* and two of my great-grandmothers in my life, and all but one of them have now passed on. Other family members as well: aunts, uncles, more distant relations. I’ve seen a classmate go off to war and come home in a flag-covered coffin. I’ve felt the loss of brother and sister firefighters who’ve paid the ultimate price, including the 343 of FDNY on 9/11.

I’ve never felt loss such as this.

My Dad was one of those truly remarkable individuals who really would do anything for a friend – or even someone he’d just met. That was only magnified among our family. When I say my Dad was always there for me, it’s not just the sort of pithy comment one makes at times like this. He literally was always there for me. When we lived locally, he would be at our house within a few minutes of any call for assistance. When we moved north, it just took him a little longer to get there, but he would still come. All week, I have heard similar stories from people I’ve known and others I’ve never met.

My Dad was also a true craftsman in every sense of the word. He made his living with his hands for all of his life – even as “the boss”, he’d still be found running a machine more often than not. And this extended to his free time as well. Woodworking, metalworking, automotive restoration – you name it, he could do it. His garage holds tools better suited for a manufacturing plant or body shop than a home hobbyist, and he knew how to properly employ each and every one. He loved cars, and he literally built some from the ground up, putting his unique touch on each one.

Dad wasn’t without his flaws – none of us are. Those flaws are what make us human, and while he did have flaws, he did an admirable job of overcoming them. I know he regretted some decisions he made, both as a young man and later, but he always did what he could to make-up for those mistakes. He had a great talent for mending relationships that had become damaged too, even when he was the one at fault.

I learned a lot from my Dad, but I still feel like I had so much more to learn from him. Life lessons, technical skills, arcane knowledge: he had so much to give and I think the thing I will miss the most is being able to call him up with most any question and get a well-reasoned and accurate response.

What else will I miss? His laugh, his joy in sharing his creations with us, his simple pleasure of living the life he wanted to live. I will miss seeing him play with his grandchildren: both my own daughter and my nephews. Selfishly, I will miss being able to call on him to help me when I need his assistance. I will miss having him as that great, solid rock that helped bind our family together. I will simply miss him.

I know this grief will only lessen with time, but being with friends and family today helped. Amid the tears there was laughter as we remembered him for the man he was: father, son, uncle, grandpa, friend, shipmate, husband. He was a good man, loved by many and he will be dearly missed. But he left his mark on this world through his works, but more importantly through his acts and the example he set for others.

I can’t think of any better way to be remembered.

I love you Dad. Thank you for all you gave to me through the years. I’ll miss you, but I’m proud to have been your son. And when my own time comes, I hope that my life has met the example that you set in yours. For I can think of no better tribute at that time than to be compared to you.

I love you.

* actually, I never knew my paternal grandfather since he passed long before I was born, but I was lucky enough to have a step-grandfather for whom the “step” was really only a formality

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By Fireman Chris, February 15, 2011 9:00 AM

In my last post, I mentioned that after I had spanked MinxGrrl, I also extended a special thank you to Zille Defeu for her hospitality and photographic skills. A bit of history first though.

I first met Zille (and her husband Mr. Defeu) at the 2009 Shadow Lane party. I never wrote much about that party because it was less than 2 weeks after I found out I’d been accepted into grad school. It was also the one and only party that I’ve attended without Serenity, and I honestly just didn’t feel much like writing about it. But meeting the Defeus was one of the highlights of that party, and a few months later Serenity also got to meet them at the first SF-CP party which Zille hosted. We next saw them at the 2010 Shadow Lane party and have discussed getting together since, but have not been able to make the schedules work.

For these reasons and others which I’ll not get into here, Zille and I had never played until last month. I didn’t play much as the 2009 SL party, and Zille was far too busy as hostess at her party. I won’t say there wasn’t a desire to play, but sometimes these things just take awhile to work out.

Luckily, last month, it all worked out.

Pink and grey argyle - Photo courtesy of MinxGrrl

When Zille extended her invitation for Minx and I to come to her place, there wasn’t an explicit arrangement for her to be spanked as well. However, in one of the e-mail exchanges during the planning, Mr. Defeu oh-so-casually threw his lovely wife under the bus by saying that she could certainly be an additional recipient of any spanks which were exchanged. Not being one to ignore such a suggestion, I began insinuating that just such a thing might very well occur. I’m often hesitant to take too much for granted, but I’ll admit that I very much wanted the chance to put Zille over my knee and was very pleased when she sent me a bit more serious e-mail saying that she wanted to work out a few more details for our pending scene.

When I arrived at her and Mr. Defeu’s apartment, I was pleasantly surprised to find Zille in a pink sweater, short argyle skirt and matching argyle socks. I’m afraid I didn’t compliment her outfit nearly enough when I first saw her, for it was a bit hard to speak with my tongue lolling out (OK, perhaps I exaggerate just a tad). Still, it was an incredibly sexy and spankable outfit.

After Minx and I had finished our scene and we’d all caught our collective breath a bit, I suggested to Zille that it was time for her to go over my knee and for Minx to watch. Minx seemed delighted at this prospect. Zille seemed a bit nervous having just witnessed me using various paddles, hairbrushes and straps on the naughty Minx. I reminded Zille however that since she’d not been naughty to me she had nothing to fear, for she was due a good girl spanking.

As I stroked up Zille’s argyle skirt, I found the cutest pair of sheer pink panties with frilly edges. Definitely the type of panties a good girl wears for a spanking. It seemed almost a shame to take them down, so I left them in place for a good while as I slowly and gently spanked Zille with my hand. After the harder spanking I’d given Minx, this was a wonderful shift and we both enjoyed the slow, gentle pace.

Two very happy people - Photo courtesy of MinxGrrl

Despite the cuteness of her panties, I was eager to see what was underneath, so after a bit of warming them, I slipped them slowly down. Now, I’ve seen Zille spanked by others before and I’ve seen the pictures from some of her professional work (including the newest Shadow Lane videos,  His Two Disobedient Wives and Starter Wife – Trophy Wife Revenge Match), but it is still exciting to bare a cute girl’s bottom yourself for the first time. So down slipped her panties and I rubbed her lightly pinkened cheeks before beginning to spank again.

I’m not known for giving gentle spankings; it’s not that I’m overly harsh, but I do tend to spank fairly hard if and when that’s what’s wanted or needed. So, it was a bit different for me to be as gentle as I was this time. As you can see from Zille’s cheeks, I wasn’t just patting, but I was certainly more gentle than is the norm.

As our scene progressed, it became obvious that Zille was enjoying the spanking as much as I was; so much so that when I started spanking harder, she actually pushed her bottom up to meet my hand. While I very much like protests and attempts to get away during a “naughty” spanking, this kind of behavior is incredibly erotic during a “nice” spanking and I fully enjoyed Zille’s moans and squirms as I spanked every bit of her bare buns.

Waiting for the strap to land - Photo courtesy of MinxGrrl

Since she was enjoying so much, I teasingly said I should use the ebony hairbrush on her as well. Imagine my surprise when she said that hairbrushes scared her, but would I please give her a hairbrushing. I picked it up and rubbed the cool wood over her buns, asking if she was sure. She nodded and I gave her a short, slow hairbrushing that made her cheeks positively glow.

After a bit, I suggested she go find a paddle for me to us. We’d previously discussed that no wooden paddles would be used, but I’d brought a few leather ones as well. I suggested that Serenity’s favorite was the black one with brass rivets around the edge and patent leather on one side. She looked at it rather dubiously, but brought it to me and I proceeded to let her feel both sides. I’d told her that Serenity’s favorite was the regular leather side, but she disagreed and asked for the patent side instead. At this point, she was thoroughly warm and happy, so I proceeded to give her a rather brisk paddling with the patent side.

Contact - Photo courtesy of MinxGrrl

To end with, I had her stand up as well and place her hands on the couch. I went and got one of my favorite fun toys: the BigFoot strap from Adam & Gillian’s. I told her that Iris is rather fond of this strap as I rubbed it across her waiting bottom, and she was beyond even being dubious at this point. I pulled the strap back and let it fly, being rewarded with both the snap of the leather and a sound which could only mean that Zille approved as well. I lost count of the strokes I gave as I was rather entranced by Zille’s enjoyment of it all. Eventually however, I set the strap down and gathered a slightly wobbly and well spanked girl into my arms. Moments later, I found myself sitting on the couch with Zille cuddled up on one side of me and Minx similarly situated on the other, and had to smile and what a good day it had turned out to be in all regards.

A bit later, Mr. Defeu returned home from work and we went out for a very nice Korean BBQ dinner and lots of good conversation and laughs. Later, we returned to their apartment and I got to watch Minx don her schoolgirl jumper and be subjected to Mr. Defeu’s ministrations. I’ll let them share those details if they so desire, but it was all-in-all a very pleasant spank-filled day.

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By Fireman Chris, February 14, 2011 2:01 PM

Well, since these pictures are floating around various places such as FetLife, Twitter and my wife’s blog, I figured I should probably write my own post about them.

Warm-up - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

MinxGrrl and I started chatting and flirting on Twitter awhile back. Actually, she started following me from her mostly-vanilla account at the time. I’m generally a bit hesitant when I see vanilla-esque accounts following me, but when I looked at who she was following, I saw a few other kinky people too, and then a few spanking references started popping up in her timeline. And then she pretty much reinvented her account as a kinky one.

Sometime before last March’s SF-CP party, Minx started bratting me. I can’t remember exactly what prompted it, but there were comments along the lines of “your arm will give out before my bottom”, “I’ll be fine 5 minutes after”, etc. Well, a top can’t let that pass, so when we both discovered we’d be attending the party, I suggested we find out whether arm or bottom would give out first. It was a fun scene on the couch in one of the rooms at the party location and ended with her cute little bottom a nice bright red.

Paddle goes up... - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

After that, we continued to chat – and occasionally flirt – on Twitter. We don’t live that far apart, but it’s at least an hour drive and between work, school and such we soon found ourselves 8 months out from her one and only spanking from me. As you can imagine, this was not an ideal situation for either of us, for she is a very fun person to be around and play with. I felt bad that we’d not had a chance to play since the party, and her bratting let me know that she felt the same way.

... and paddle comes down - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu.

So, I made a promise: come January, she would find herself over my knee again. The holiday season was too crazy to be planning play dates, but I promised her that one of my two off-work Fridays in January would be devoted to making sure she was a properly spanked Minx.

Originally, the plan was for me to go up to her apartment and play there. One thing she requested was that I take some pictures afterward which – as you can imagine – I had no problems with. I have a very nice Nikon DSLR and rather enjoy taking pictures of sexy freshly spanked girls. She even sweetened the pot by offering to wear either a schoolgirl or cheerleader uniform for the scene, both of which push a lot of my hot buttons. I opted for the cheerleader kit since I’d never had the chance to spank a girl in that particular uniform before.

After the "slipper paddle", a real slipper - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

As we plotted and planned our late January date on Twitter and via e-mail, the plans got slightly shifted in a very fun direction. We’re both friends with Zille Defeu and Mr. Defeu, both of whom are excellent professional photographers. In fact, Minx had recently played out a traditional British schoolgirl CP scene with Mr. Defeu while Zille took some very hot photos of the scene. A casual comment by Zille on our Twitter conversation prompted a casual suggestion by me that perhaps Zille should handle the photography so that I could focus on the spanking. This resulted in Zille inviting us both up to her and Mr. Defeu’s apartment for our scene. We would – as Zille put it – have “3 hours to take care of business” and then Mr. Defeu would get home and we could go out to dinner. This sounded like a win-win-win plan.

Hand spanking doesn't mean less sting - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

Since Minx was so kind as to wear her cheerleader uniform for me, I decided to return the favor and showed up in my suit with a traditional French-cuffed blue-with-white-collar dress shirt. I chuckled as I put it on, because I realized that the last time I’d spanked her (at the SF-CP party), I’d worn this very same suit.

I arrived a bit before the appointed time and had a few minutes to chat with Zille before Minx arrived. While she changed into her cheerleader kit, I went through my bag and selected the implements she’d be feeling shortly.

Hairbrushing requires a bit of restraint - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

Over my lap went the naughty Minx. A bit of scolding as I flipped up her short cheer skirt and exposed her uniform panties. I reminded her what a brat she’d been to me over the past few months and how she’d more or less challenged me to give her a very red, sore bottom. As my hand continued to smack down – first on her panties and then on her bare backside – her bravado began to slip a bit. No, she surely couldn’t have been so much of a brat as to challenge my ability to give a memorable spanking, could she?

After a good long warm-up with my hand, it was time to move onto other implements. The one that seemed to make the best impression was the “Grandma’s Slipper Paddle” from my good friend Ian, the London Tanner. This is a slightly longer version of the “Nanny Paddle” which Serenity and I have had for several years. This paddle ends up being a bit whippier due to its increased length, and as you can see it quickly turned Minx’s bottom a nice bright red.

Impact - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

Following the paddle, I decided to stick with the slipper theme and grabbed the plimsoll that Mija gave me a few years back. Minx had been slippered by Mr. Defeu previously, but this one was a bit different than the one he used and made for a good follow-up to the paddling, as you can see by the look on her face.

After the slippering, I felt a bit of hand spanking and rubbing was in order to make sure that Minx’s bottom was properly prepared for the last few implements. When Minx remarked that my hand did hurt an awful lot, I reminded her what a friend once told me: the human hand is made out of bone (harder than wood) and skin (which is the same stuff they make leather out of), so it’s really no surprise that it should be just as bad as wooden or leather implements.

A sizzled Minx - Photo courtesy of Zille Defeu

Of course, the implement I’d really promised Minx she’d be feeling was the infamous ebony hairbrush. She’d felt this brush the last time she was over my knee, and furious backpedaling ensued when I picked it up. Luckily, I’m not moved by such protestations and Minx found herself with my leg hooked over hers to keep her in place. Such foresight on my part was a very good thing given the amount of kicking she tried to do as I firmly hairbrushed her already sore bottom.

But this was not the end. After a brief break for some rubbing and recovery, I told Minx to stand and place her hands on the couch cushion as I went and got another one of  The London Tanner’s implements: this time one of his very nice straps. Until I saw the photos after, I never would have believed the moment-of-impact was quite as impressive as Zille’s excellent photography shows.

Following the strapping, there was only one implement left to use. I’ve heard a number of different nicknames and descriptions of this paddle since these photos have come out, but officially it is called the Sizzler from Cane-Iac. As you can see, it lived up to its name as Minx counted off her last 10 strokes with it.

A well-spanked Minx.

After the spanking was over, there were cuddles and rubs from both me and our photographer.  One last shot shows a very happy Minx with a very sore bottom. While our first scene together was great fun as well, being in a more private setting this time let us relax a bit more and go a bit longer than we had before. I want to thank Minx for a wonderful scene: both for being so much fun to be with and also for helping me fulfill my fantasy of having a naughty cheerleader over my lap.

Special thanks are also due to Zille Defeu for being our most excellent hostess and photographer. In fact, I gave her a special thank you after this as well, but that will have to wait for my next post.

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By Fireman Chris, October 9, 2010 3:51 PM

Life continues to be busy for me with grad school, but at least the end is in site. Over the past year, I’ve completed more than half of the degree requirements for my MS degree and I’m in the home stretch now. Of course, that home stretch includes working on a thesis plus finishing up a couple more required classes, so things are still busy.

There has been some fun though. Serenity and I went to the Shadow Lane party over Labor Day and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We also spent last weekend down in Southern California visiting Iris and M during a work trip.

In addition to some wonderful play time with both of them, Iris and I also had to deal with a punishment she had earned. While our relationship in that regard has changed somewhat from where it was 4 years ago when she first asked me to be her “safety net” for punishment issues, we still maintain some of that dynamic and there are still a few rules I punish her for. That being said, this was the first punishment I’d given her in probably a year and half or more. In the days leading up to the trip and her re-acquaintance with my ebony hairbrush, we started discussing the whole punishment dynamic in our relationship and what we each get out of it. What started as a private e-mail conversation between two friends led to some interesting thoughts and discoveries, and we both decided the conversation made for a good topic to share.

So, I invite you to head on over to The Punishment Book and read our joint thoughts titled But what’s in it for you?

And we look forward to your comments. *

* I’ve disabled comments on this post in the hope you will comment on the PB post instead.

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By Fireman Chris, February 11, 2010 6:28 PM

Grad school’s back in session, hence the lack of blogging. Not that I was blogging much when grad school wasn’t in session…but you get the idea.

Despite that, I plan on putting aside formal education one night next month and focusing on a different type of education, hopefully involving naughty girls in plaid skirts and the like. The lovely Zille Defeu is throwing the inaugural SF-CP party* in San Francisco on March 13. While San Francisco has a very varied and vibrant kink scene, this is definitely an event that will cater to the spanking enthusiast. and I’m quite excited that it’s happening.

For all you FetLifers, there’s both an event page for this party and an SF-CP discussion group.

So if you’re anywhere in San Francisco, or near San Francisco, or always wanted to visit San Francisco, you can check out the website and buy your tickets. Heck, they even take PayPal.

Hope to see you there!

* that’s San Francisco Corporal Punishment in case you couldn’t tell

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By Fireman Chris, January 7, 2010 5:52 PM

Wow, a real blog post from me. Shocking, I know, but today’s events just screamed “BLOG ABOUT THIS” far too loudly for me to ignore.

We get a fair amount of packages at the fire station: medical supplies, parts for the engines, computer stuff, books. UPS comes by most every day, and FedEx a couple times a week. Today, they were both there at the same time and delivered several boxes. A couple of them were for me, but one was addressed to our admin person, who was off today. Many times, packages are addressed to her since she does the ordering but are really intended for one of the firefighters. Many times, these are somewhat urgent, and since she wasn’t in, I wanted to make sure it didn’t sit unnoticed if someone was waiting for it. I looked at the label, and didn’t recognize the sending company’s name. There was however this odd little tickle in my brain that it somehow looked and sounded familiar.

“Chief, did we order anything from XR LLC?” I asked.

His response was that he didn’t know, and suggested that I open it.

Not quite sure why I didn’t; maybe it was that tickle in my brain. It did have the department name on it, so I could have, but I decided to Google “XR LLC” instead.

First hit was their website, which was very vague and said they are a manufacturer of “medical supplies, clothing, accessories, and novelty items.” Curious. We get lots of medical supplies, but I couldn’t remember us getting any packages from them before. And what’s that “novelty items” thing? I decided to check another one of the search results: one of those company profile pages that industry groups and chambers of commerce put up.

That page listed the company as “a private company categorized under Safety Equipment and Clothing-Manufacturers and located in Huntington Beach, CA.” Curiouser. We use lots of safety equipment too. Then I noticed contact info at the top of the page, including a website link. Without looking too closely, I clicked on it.

And then immediately closed my browser when I recognized the page that came up.

Turns out the tickle in my brain was my subconscious remembering two years ago when I got a package (at home) from XR LLC. This package contained a lovely red and black deerskin flogger, a Wartenberg pinwheel, and a couple other fun things. For you see, XR LLC is the discreet name that Extreme Restraints puts on their packages.

Oh dear.

There are some things you really don’t need to know about your co-workers.

Not wanting someone else to open the package, I put it on her desk chair and pushed it under her desk. I considered dropping it off at her house on my way home, but that would have practically screamed “I know what this is.” And, I really don’t want to go there.

I am going to enjoy watching her reaction when she comes in to work on Monday though.

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By Fireman Chris, November 17, 2009 10:23 PM

I’ve been seriously neglecting my blogging lately, but what else is new? I’ve discovered that writing several thousand words a week for grad school makes writing for pleasure…well, not that pleasurable.

Writing seems to be the norm around here lately. I’m enrolled in three classes, which each require great deals of writing. Serenity is doing NaNoWriMo along with many of our friends. The princess is in first grade and is finally getting to the point where she can write actual sentences.

And let’s not even talk about work…going out to pull hose and climb ladders the other day with “the guys” the other day was a welcome change from my desk.

I have nothing to complain about (other than a serious cold the kidlet so generously gave to me). We’ll be going to see my family next week for Thanksgiving and will get to visit Mija and Paul while we’re there. In December, we’ll be back in SoCal again as well as in Indiana visiting both our families, including my newest nephew who is due right around Christmas.

Life is just life at the moment. The normal days we don’t remember with much clarity the following week, but which make up the bulk of our time here on Earth. Simple moments to smile about, and enjoy as we live them.

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By Fireman Chris, September 23, 2009 10:48 AM

I said in my last post that my interest in blogging has been revitalized. And that is true, even if my post count doesn’t show it…too many things to do this time of year, and grad school to boot. I’m supposed to be writing a paper for one of my classes right now, in fact, but need to get these thoughts “out of the queue” first.

Nine years ago today, Serenity and I stood before God and our families and friends and promised to love, honor and cherish each other so long as we both shall live. These nine years have been the happiest in my life, and I am ever grateful that this wonderful woman came into my life as my best friend and soulmate. Today should be a day of happiness, and in many ways it is, but unfortunately, it is tempered by some sadness as well.

This morning, we learned that one of those who shared our special day with us nine years ago, as well as so many other special days in my life, has left us. My dad called early this morning to tell us that my grandmother, his mother, had passed unexpectedly in the middle of the night. She’d been taken to the hospital last night by the fire department, and suffered respiratory arrest. My dad called me before he’d even gone to tell his stepfather that he is now a widower.

I’ve been blessed in my life to know four grandparents and two great-grandmothers, as well as one great-grandfather who saw my birth but passed before my first birthday. To be entirely technical, I only knew three grandparents and one stepgrandfather…my dad’s father died when he was still a boy…but his stepfather was married to my grandmother long before I was born and has been my grandfather in every way that matters. He’s now my last grandparent, and at 92 years of age, I know our time with him is limited as well.

My mother’s parents both passed some time ago, around the time Serenity and I were married. She only got to meet my grandfather once when we were first dating, and he was already in a convalescent home at that time. Even then, he had his sense of humor and abrupt nature, and asked me when I’d be putting a ring on her finger. Less than two years later, I did, but his name was read “in memory” at our wedding. My maternal grandmother never got to know Serenity, even though she was still with us at the time, due to the ravages of Alzheimer’s. She passed a few months after our wedding.

My great-grandmothers both lived long lives: one to her mid-90s and the other just shy of the century mark.

My grandmother who passed this morning lived a good, long life too. She would have turned 90 next spring, and was still active and free of any major health problems. In fact, until just a few months ago, she and my grandfather had lived in their own apartment before moving to an assisted living facility earlier this summer.

In some ways, I think that makes it harder to process her death. My maternal grandparents were both suffering from long-term health problems when they passed, and in many ways, death came as an end to suffering. My paternal grandmother, however, was as active and vibrant as you could expect an 89 year old woman to be, which makes it hard to think about her being struck down by a sudden (and relatively minor) illness. Still, as Mija just pointed out to me while chatting, to know she went quickly and without the ravages of a long, drawn out illness is a comfort. I’ve seen that process far too intimately, both in my own family and in my experiences as a firefighter, and I would wish that, when my own time comes, it be as short and easy.

And, so, I’ll close with words from her favorite hymn, which seem so fitting at this time.

Or, if on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I’ll fly,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to Thee.

There in my Father’s home, safe and at rest,
There in my Savior’s love, perfectly blest;
Age after age to be, nearer my God to Thee.

I love you, Grandma. I will miss you, but I know you are home, safe and at rest. I love you.